How to Manifest More Sex | Good Vibe Blog

How to Manifest More Sex (or Anything Else You Want)

how to manifest more sexSome of you are wondering how to manifest more (or better) sex.  So let’s get down to business …

(These instructions also apply for how to get more of whatever you want, be it money, success, a house, better body, etc.  But this is written specifically for the person who wants more sex.)

Here we go:

First of all, it helps to stop noticing the sex you’re not getting.

Stop giving attention to how you wish you had more.

Stop complaining about how little you’re getting and telling the story about how bad your sex life is.

In fact, it’s really helpful to stop believing you’re not getting as much sex as you want.

Yes, I know you’re justified in thinking and saying and believing what you’ve been thinking, telling and believing.  But that is NOT helping you get more sex.

It’s actually doing the exact opposite.

As you speak (and think) it, so shall it be.

So you’ve got to start appreciating your sex life.

However you can accomplish that.

You’ve got to love the sex you are having.  You’ve got to tell the story about how great your sex life is.  (Especially to your partner!)  You want to be the person who is enjoying all the fabulous sex they want.

Whether you’re remembering or imagining or however you can get to thoughts of appreciation about lots of great sex, that’s what you want to get in mind.

Would you talk different?  Smile more?  How would you behave differently?

However you would be when you’re sexually satisfied, start being that way now.

Whether that’s relaxed, happy, satisfied, cooperative – whatever it would be for you – start feeling that way and being that person now.

If you have a partner, you’ll become more attractive to him/her.  If you don’t yet have a partner, you’ll still be more attractive to him/her – whoever it turns out to be.

And I’m not talking physically attractive – I mean energetically attractive.

Since like attracts like, as you become the person who has a great sex life (even before you have one), you will attract a great sex life.

One of the stories I didn’t tell in my Adventures in Manifesting ebook  – even though it’s chock full of real world examples from my love life – was how my boyfriend noticed my manifesting success in getting foster dogs adopted, to which he responded by promptly using this magical new power to manifest more sex!  (What a quick study he was.)

So having been on the other side of this manifestation, I know how easy and effective it is to work on someone.

The trick (for the one doing the manifesting) is to not get caught up in the “reality” of what is.

Find some way to get your attention on what you want, rather than what is.

  • For Pam (not her real name), that means she’s got to stop telling co-workers and friends about her husband’s challenges in the bedroom.  She’s got to appreciate what is working, even if it’s just that he’s great aabout public displays of affection – which she loves.
  • For Scott (not his real name), that means he’s got to stop thinking of his wife as a woman who has no interest in sex.  Instead, he’ll want to see her differently – maybe as a woman who is waking up to new heights of sexual desire – with him in particular (that could be an important element to include).  Or whatever story would help make it believable that things are changing romantically.  He’ll also want to start treating her the way he would treat a woman who he is enjoying lots of highly satisfying sexual activity with.
  • For Sue and Matt (not their real names), who don’t have any partners in sight and are tired of being celibate, they should know they cannot attract a great love life while upset about not having one.  It just doesn’t work that way.

You’ve got to find a way to feel better now, whether that’s by entertaining rich fantasies, purposefully appreciating the sex you are having, or by getting your mind on something else that is satisfying.  Whatever inspires you to shift the vibe – that’s what you want to engage.

Change the way you feel now, without expecting your new love life to make you feel better.

And to anyone who feels stymied in getting what they want, it helps tremendously to take the pressure off this thing you want for making you happy.  When you make it out to be a big deal, especially a big deal that you’re not experiencing, it closes the door on it.

You want to find ways to feel better now, even before it gets here – even if it NEVER gets here – in order to allow it in.

I know it’s a funky way to get what you want, but it works.

It’s also worth mentioning, even though I know many of you likely won’t believe me, that it isn’t really more sex you want.  What you really want is how you think having that amazing sex life is going to make you feel.

If anyone cares to share thoughts on the topic, I know it’d be a huge benefit to many who are wondering about all this!

  • December 26, 2009
  • Ohhh, great topic Jeannette! And great post overall for detailing how to consciously use the LOA to get more of what u want in life.
    Luckily this has never been an issue for me, but I’d like to underscore the importance of your vibe in this sort of situation (well, every situation really!). If you walk into a room thinking you’re HOT, then so will everyone else… even if you’re in a room full of attractive people. If you think and feel you’re *all that*, everyone else will think you’re all that, too! And it has nothing to do with looks, your weight, what you’re wearing, etc. It’s all about the vibe you’re sending out. Think and feel like people of the opposite sex will be attracted to you, and they will be! If, instead, you’re focused on all your so-called flaws and all the reasons you think you’re unattractive, don’t be surprised then if others don’t find you as attractive as you would like.
    Ultimately, it’s really your vibe that other people are attracted to, not all the surface stuff. Thanks for the great reminder!

  • Oh, and I forgot to add… love the Adventures in Manifesting ebook!! Definitely a very inspirational read:)
    Thank you for being you and for everything you do!

  • Very well said, Self Help Goddess:
    “it has nothing to do with looks, your weight, what you’re wearing, etc. It’s all about the vibe you’re sending out.”
    And we see proof of that all around us, don’t we?!
    I thought this might be a fun topic for the experts to weigh in on – so glad you did, my friend!
    And thanks for the kind words about the ebook. I’m looking forward to the sequel containing the stories of the Good Vibe community!

  • Gillian says:

    is the most important phrase to remember:
    “I think this And I’m not talking physically attractive – I mean energetically attractive.”
    It always about the energy we send out. A great post and this principle can be used ti manifest anything!

  • Thanks for the spotlight on that one, Gillian!
    And can I just say for the record I had no idea the kind of spam the filter is catching for this post. Oh my!

  • Leslie Richter says:

    In a lot of ways it’s about being in grace and focusing on the gifts that you do have. We all have friends who are single and longing to be in a relationship and you as the friend can see ALL the love they are brimming over with to share and you could see how truly loveable they are. But on an energetic level they are asking for a mate with the door closed, focusing on lack of, not available and the not enough thoughts.
    Not enough is a powerful thought, if we use it as a spark to ignite our clear intentions. We get into trouble when we stop the energy and don’t keep the flow going.
    Which is we buy into the story and stop ourselves from moving into the next awareness. Sometimes we forget thoughts are just tools for our spirit, meant to ignite the next thought.

  • How lovely was THIS, Leslie: “Sometimes we forget thoughts are just tools for our spirit, meant to ignite the next thought.”
    What a pleasure to see you here again!!
    Thanks for reading, and especially for chiming in on this one!

  • Laura says:

    What I have found to be helpful is to remember a time when I had all the feelings that I am desiring at this time. Instead of focusing on the fact that you do not have a relationship/sex/love (whatever) NOW…get into that feeling place of how you felt. How did it feel to look forward to hearing from or seeing that person? How did it feel to see them? Feel an embrace? The feeling of being loved (physically)….you can get into as much detail as you like.
    While some can see this as fantasizing, it is also evidence that you had and can have again what it is you desire. Since sex or any physical expression of affection is a strong emotional and physical reaction that it is a very powerful way to get yourself in alignment with that vibe. Stay in that place just long enough to stir up those wonderful feelings and stop just before you notice the absence in your present life (if that is the case). It is the perfect way to get excited about what you are attracting and what is yet to come….

  • Indeed, Laura, good memories are a powerful way to activate the vibration NOW!
    Thanks for elaborating on that, Laura!
    PS – for those who aren’t drawing on personal memories, you can always “draft” on someone else’s! (Drafting meaning leveraging the energy of someone else’s experience.)

  • Sophia says:

    I have to agree with SelfHelpGoddess and Jeanette about how our appearance doesn’t matter but the vibration we are sending out.
    I remember before I attracted LOA into my life. I had a very destructive image of myself and I found it awkard interacting with plp. Whatever I was self conscious about people seemed to confirm what I was believing about myself. Which I thought made it true. Far from the truth.
    But since LOA I have been able to attract people in positive ways unexpectedly. Sometimes it still surprises me. I remember once thinking ” I’m in baggy sweats, how odd that this man is hitting on me. ” lol.
    Now I get it, for the most part. lol
    I’m having fun becoming more of aware of my thoughts and my vibration.
    Love your articles Jeanette. You things well into perspective through your words, thank you!

  • Is anyone besides me loving the visual of Sophia in baggy sweats attracting men left and right?! ha ha
    You’re a gem, my friend!
    Thanks for posting and confirming what was shared through your personal experience. Very helpful!

  • Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Such a delicious post!
    Someone very, very close to me is about 52 and never been married and lives alone. She has no kids. She laments every now and then about not having a partner. She is particularly perturbed about the fact that she is growing old alone.
    However, when I pressed her on it, she admitted that she was too busy with all her volunteer activities that she did not have the time and space for a partner.
    Whenever, I talk about stuff about my hubby and I, she cannot relate. She does not understand sharing a closet with a partner. She does not understand having concern for the other person and cooking with less salt because my partner does not eat salt.
    So I explained to her that she wants to be alone. Her energy is that of alone – She does not want a partner, she does not want a child and she is perfectly happy with her two cats. She literally has no space in her life for anyone else.
    Well, it turns out that all she needed was permission by others to be this way. She is perfectly happy but gets perturbed that others think something is wrong with her.
    So, I gave her permission. It is her choice.
    She also can change it whenever she wants.
    It would not be the choice I make but I love that she is clear on her choice.
    So my two cents is you do not have to have a partner and you do not have to have lots of sex. It is all your choice.

  • Not to mention, there are plenty of people with partners who are not having lots of sex. Some would argue that if more sex is what you want, unloading your spouse is a great first step to get started.
    That wouldn’t be ME making that argument, of course, since I believe anything is possible. Including a fabulous sex life with one person for your entire life.
    Thanks for adding to this rich conversation, Iyabo! Much appreciated!

  • Dan says:

    Great article, and I personally found it true. I do have one question related to the post. I tried to order the ebook download and your checkout didn’t recognize Ontario Canada as a valid state and as a result would not let me past the contact page. Please let me know if it is available to Canadians.

  • I guess, Dan, Universe wanted us to be acquainted on a more intimate basis. (So I had an excuse to email you individually.)
    Check your email inbox for your copy – and thanks for alerting me to the situation!

  • Leslie Richter says:

    That is such a great point lyabo brings up! We always seem to operate with the concept everything is wrong when really everything is right.
    What is right about the situation for you that you have labeled not right? Lots of times people who are alone love their independence!!!!! I am not certain the benifits of not enough sex though – ha ha. I know in my relationship sometimes my partner is just too tired or too stressed and I know to give him some slack. He always comes around when he is happy. I remember years ago listening to a man complain how his girlfriend never came
    no matter how he tried. And I thought boy how come you are making it all about you. If you really cared you wouldn’t be telling me about it. Like look at me I am so caring I have to tell strangers about my sex life.
    In my opinion, not enough sex, bring out the compassion and the love, it’s not just about you!

  • Leslie, your posting is reminding me of the story of the woman on the airplane who is overhearing two guys behind her argue about the best ways for a woman to climax. After several minutes of it, she finally turns around and the tells them that the BEST way for a woman to climax is alone.
    I just love that story for reminding us that sometimes the best sex may be withOUT a partner. he he
    But what I really wanted to say in response to your thoughtful comment was that I totally agree – a little love and compassion go a LONG way in the bedroom.
    Thanks for popping in again, my friend!

  • sophia says:

    Hi Dan!
    Just wanted I’m from ontario canada as well! and I ordered the “Adventures in Manifesting” with the coupon code and I was able to download the ebook. Although i’m not sure if I’m going to receive a copy in the mail too. It would be nice.
    I’m looking forward to ordering more books in the new yr.
    Which one did you order Dan? Mayb it was just a glitch..? or a vibration glitch? =0)

  • Ginny says:

    Wow, Jeannette. I’m a lurker here, have only commented a couple times, and I’ve been wanting to bring this topic up here for a loooong time, but never found the guts to do so. And now I don’t have to because you’ve gone and done it for me. ;o) Though this response is still very difficult for me to write.
    I found it interesting how almost everyone related this subject to singles – people not in relationships.
    Well, I’m in a very loving, very committed, relationship and I’m dealing with no sex at all. Not because my husband doesn’t find me desirable, or is bored, or wants somebody else. But because of his lifestyle. Too many years of smoking, drinking, etc. have taken their toll. This has been very painful for me as I am a very sexual person. Always have been. My love life with my husband used to be fantastic. Best sex I ever had. So to lose it has been something I’ve really struggled with.
    Even with all I know about LOA, and the many successful manifestations I’ve had, I’ve had a really hard time with this one. Because his problem is physical and he absolutely refuses to deal with it, I’m left feeling the only way to have the sex I’m missing is to have it with someone else. Not really something I want to do, first because it’s my husband I love and desire, and secondly because it would hurt him deeply. I don’t intend to go the rest of my life without something I greatly enjoy and very much miss, but I’d rather not have to leave a loving relationship to have it either.
    We’re not so young anymore (50 and 49 respectively), so I have that whole dynamic messing with my head too. Like time is running out! LOL And I have too many people’s words ringing in my head – oh that’s just how it is with older men, and some of these physical problems are irreversible, and blah blah blah. Because my husband has lost his libido, he seems fine with living this way for the rest of his life. Further complicating matters, his ideas about sex have changed in ways I can’t understand at all.
    I know I’ve been giving way too much negative energy to this problem and there are a LOT of defeating thoughts surrounding it. But I also know we cannot create in another person’s life, hence the difficulty in really believing things can change with my husband. Any advice? Okay, I’m hitting the submit button. GULP.

  • Ginny, you’re my hero!
    Email me at and let’s take this conversation offline.
    I’ve got LOTS I’d love for us to talk about!!

  • Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Jeanette, PLEASE let me love on Ginny a little bit pleeeeeeease!
    Ginny, you got me all fired up!
    First of all my love, you are not old. IMHO, You are at that perfect age where beauty meets brains, where the desire to do things that please other people magically meets the desire to explore your own life even more. So, I love your age! I suggest rethinking your perspective of your age.
    Yes, you are right, we all talked about singleness on this post and there are many married people that are having sexless marriages. So I apologize for grouping everyone together.
    I am so proud of you and in awe of your courage to hit that submit button.
    What that tells me is that your inner being wants better and you are willing to seek it out. I am so proud of you for that.
    However, may I please be loving and frank without in any way shape or form hurt your feelings? Please forgive me in advance if I do.
    I know you say you love your husband and I am no way second guessing that.
    However, he is in denial, does not take care of himself, right?
    Well, it just seems to me that there is an an energy disconnect there for a person who loves herself very much and who is very sexual and a husband who is in denial about his ED and does not take care of himself.
    I wonder if when you look at this component of him, if you see yourself in any way. Do you feel that you are taking care of yourself? Do you feel that your life is worth living well and fully, separate from sex?
    I require sex in my primary relationship. It is part of the agreement. I may not have it every day and it may ebb and flow depending on what is going on between us. I have lost both my mom and dad and my mother in law. And during those times, sex was the very last thing on our minds.
    So I understand ebb and flow of sex in a relationship. I understand that a person’s ego may not want to address such an issue.
    His age is too young to give up on sex for a long time and I am sure Dr. Oz would say this is reversible.
    Please stand up for your sex life! You are so worth it.
    For goodness sake, threaten him with a toy or an outside relationship or something! LOL! (I cannot believe I just typed that. I am very much a prude! – You bought it out in me Ginny!)
    This reminds me of a friend of mine whose husband was on medication that made him completely impotent. She had a hysterectomy and all of a sudden, her body was lit up. She could no longer take a sexless marriage and she started sneaking around but not really doing anything. I was uncomfortable with it and, at the time, my dad was still alive.
    I asked my Dad what he thought about it and he said, “The responsible thing for her to do is have a boyfriend on the side and shut her mouth up!” This was hilarious to me! My conservative father?
    Wow! LOL.
    And for any men out there reading this that have ED, please open up to your partner and let her be part of the solution. It is something that can make your relationship even more loving and solid.
    I promise you, this is an area for profound growth and intimacy if you just approach it with love and understanding and compassionate for each other.
    OK, that’s my two cents!

  • Ginny says:

    Hi Iyabo,
    Thanks so much for your response. First off, let me address the age thing. I don’t feel old. Still like the same rock music I’ve always liked, LOL, still have lots of dreams and goals for myself, especially where my artwork is concerned. And yet, I have to admit, I’ve bought into society’s (or is that my same-age friends’) attitude about older men/women and sex. How many ED commercials do you see whenever you put on the TV? Well, if you do?? I don’t even watch that much, but damn I see a LOT of them! And how many messages do we get about menopausal women and troubles in their sex lives? Ok, I’m not menopausal yet, but I’m headed that way. LOL
    And secondly, I HAVE voiced my feelings to him several times, going so far as to tell him I do NOT intend to do without sex for the rest of my days and if he continues to refuse to deal with the issue and that leads me into an affair, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I don’t think he believes that’s a real possibility for some reason.
    And yes, I must admit his refusal to deal with it makes me angry and makes me feel like my wants and needs aren’t as important to him as they should be, no matter how much he strives to treat me well in every other area. When you tell someone that something is a problem for you, and they still refuse to acknowledge and DEAL with it, that’s definitely a red flag. It’s like his behavior is saying I will give you all these other things, so that ONE thing shouldn’t matter to you. But it does, and I have every right for it to.
    Thanks so much for giving me more to think about Iyabo! xo

  • Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Hugs, and lots of love to you Ginny. Thank you so much for opening up here. This is why I love good vibe blog!

  • Iyabo, you crack me up!!
    That’s one of the things I love SO MUCH about this community (and you, too, Iyabo) is the openness and the ability to share what’s on our mind, no matter the topic.

  • Ginny says:

    Jeannette! Somehow I missed your comment before Iyabo’s earlier. I’ll definitely email you tomorrow! xo

  • Nathaniel says:

    What I love about sex is-it is the easiest subject to do virtual reality with. I can effortlessly imagine myself having sex with whoever I want. I can have sexual expereinces in my head and orgasm and it is just as fulfilling as the real deal. Interestingly, any girl I have ever fantasized about, seemed to really be in to me. The more I pretended to have sex with them, the more they liked me. I think that is how I attracted my wife!

  • Nathaniel, I can’t help but smile reading your post!
    I bet most would agree that sexual fantasies are easy ones to entertain. Why do you think that is? Why would a person find some fantasies more difficult to imagine than others?
    I’ve had clients say they can’t imagine having what they want, because they’ve never had it. But I bet that doesn’t stop most of us in the sexual fantasy department, right?
    Thanks for sharing your experience, Nathaniel! Much appreciated. 🙂

  • Janette says:

    Wow! I didn’t comment here before coz I thought I had nothing much to add (that was when it was just fresh up on the ‘net).
    Iyabo and Ginny, you guys have added SO much to this discussion, and you inspire me to add my two cents’ worth.
    I’ve been writing fiction for a while (nothing major published YET) and have discovered that my favourite scenes to write are the physical encounters between my main characters. The first I wrote was a very sweet kiss; the most recent, a full-on graphic sex scene. Now I want to branch out into writing short erotic fiction.
    I LOVE the idea of inspiring readers to find those emotions of satisfaction, helping them to fall into the virtual experience of great sex. All this week I’ve been hearing the message that this is something I would enjoy doing, that others might appreciate – and this discussion has been yet another knock at that door.
    Thanks so much, Jeannette, for this blog post. You are just The Best!

  • Janette, no wonder you’re enjoying you’re writing so much!
    There’s no doubt in my mind as you follow the inspiration to spend more time with the subjects that call you that you’ll have huge fun and success with it!

  • Kelly says:

    This reply is for Ginny. We are in a similar boat (though today I am trying very hard to say we both have great boats, lots of them, and they don’t sink and we are very happy in our respective oceans-HA!) and I’d love to have mutual support on this topic as well. Please email me if interested at Turn to Jeannette definitely, but for just a one-on-one support group, perhaps you and I can talk.
    For those commentors who have never experienced being the person with a higher sex drive in love with someone who has lost theirs, oh my. It is heartbreaking.
    Post could not have been more timely.

  • Melissa says:

    Thank you for the free ebook. I really enjoyed it and I am inspired by your stories. :o)

  • Ginny says:

    Hi Kelly,
    I’ll be emailing. :o)

  • Thanks for helping others know they’re not alone, Kelly. That means a lot to someone who’s feeling alone.
    And Melissa, glad you’re enjoying it!

  • Ginny says:

    Hi Janette,
    Wow, I was so interested to hear that you are inspired to write physical scenes between your characters because I discovered a love for the same thing in the past year! My daughter challenged me to do the NaNoWriMo thing last year (check it out via Google if you’ve never heard of it!) and I rediscovered a love for writing. Now I’m writing a romance which is a great place to channel some of that passionate energy I have going on. :o) I really enjoy celebrating the dynamics between lovers. So nice to hear from someone else who does too.

  • danae says:

    As usual, this blog post is timely and relevant to me – just when I’ve reached about the limit of what feels like extreme loneliness. I feel like I worked so hard to shift my vibe I kinda burnt myself out. In between shifting things financially and working on ‘the perfect home’ for my children and I things got a bit hectic. Moving house is bad for my libido (shaken up at the roots!) – somewhere in the move and the new job etc I lost my sexy, funny and cool (they are in a box here somewhere lol). A friend (loa buff) suggested I needed to sort some of my thinking out, so while I run nowadays I’ve got a mantra going which feels really GOOD.
    I get what lyabo says about it being OK not to have a partner or sex – this is true. But I DO want it – I still want it and I still want to have FUN! The challenge is to take the time out from all the serious business of being a responsible parent and ‘friend, student and work mate.
    how would it feel to be sexy again?? I can get into that vibe right now!
    thanks J, you rock as usual
    d xx

  • danae says:

    ps. I loved the ebook too – thanks again – it was very inspiring and just what I needed as I contemplate the new year xx

  • Danae, it sounds like you are on a powerful right track for yourself. And I’m sure many others will follow your lead!
    Thanks for reading, and especially for posting.

  • Daphne says:

    Jeanette, I’m so grateful that you wrote this article. My question to you is what to do when my hormones have me wanting to peel the paint off of the walls? I know how to take care of myself but now I’m ready to dance the “dance” with sexy man (or several sexy men though not all at the same time) 🙂

  • Are there any obstacles to dancing with sexy men, Daphne? If my hormones were saying it’s time to get on the dance floor, with a partner, I’d invite him to join me and have a great time!
    Is there anything keeping you from doing just that?

  • sophia says:

    Hey Jeannette!
    I must’ve been out of alignment when I checked to see if u made a comment about my post and believe it or not, I couldn’t see it then and was thinking “I must have a bad vibe b/c jeannette’s only replying to everyone else but me. LMAO.
    BUT TODAY, I had an awesome day and got an email of more comments to this article and finally saw your comment. I was like ok!.. I must have been out of alignment.
    I also liked to comment regarding the sex aspect of this article. I have attracted amazing sex in my early 20’s, and then through not finding “the one” im my mid twenties my libydo (spelling prob. went downhill b/c I was looking for relationships that were more meaningful.
    Now..i think I found “the one” lol (still working out the kinks due to my awareness of my power; still hopeful I can find someone that fits my description.) I have been able to attract sex or good enough sex with just the thought of it. I don’t have to hint that I want sex lol. My partner just “feels” the urge to. LMAO.
    Now if I can just attract some large lump sum of money that would be great! lol. =0)

  • Indeed, what you focus on grows.
    Few months ago, I asked myself what’s holding me back. I knew am not dumb but some people who received less education are more successful financially. So, I searched for an answer.
    Thank God I discovered Noah St. John’s Afformations. I applied it immediately and in few days the breakthrough started “manifesting”. I found the my right mentor and it has been a productive journey since then…
    Thanks Jeanette for this interesting post.

  • I agree, Jose… Afformations rock! I discovered them myself this past year, and have noticed quite a change.
    In fact, you’ve inspired me to go write a blog about my experience w/ Afformations. Thanks for the inspiration! 🙂

  • Kelly says:

    Just re-read this for umpteenth time. THIS is my biggest most painful manifesting challenge. Too much of my heart body longing involved.

  • Sophia says:

    Hey kelly,
    For me its financial abundance that doesn’t manifest as fast as I’d like it too lol.
    As for this topic I think the trick is to not focus on the lack of great sex and have fun submerging your thoughts in your wonderful word of imagination and fantasy and before sex. Intend it to be an awesome one!
    Not sure if that will help but for me, I love to daydream/fantasize. It feels amazing. Umm I gotta do the same regarding money because it is the same technique.
    Putting focus on what we want, rather than lack of it. Somewhat difficult to put it to good use when we have some beliefs that is blocking the desire we’re after huh?
    Good luck and have fun kelly!

  • Jan Bird says:

    Just caught up with this one Jeannette! I’m surprised you can’t hear the noise of the light bulb going on over my head!
    I’ve been like Sue and Matt in your post. I’ve been so focused on what I don’t have, and how much I’ve wished I wasn’t single, how much I’ve hated being celibate, that I’ve had no positive energy left. All that is changing (note the past tense!)
    I’ve been posting on list-making today, and in my notebook I’ve just found, I’ve written on the first line “I will have a loving, sexy and fun relationship in 2010”.
    I’ll report back!

  • danae says:

    funny these comments should start up again – I’ve been pondering on how to get my sexy back (not sure I can blog about this on my own website) and was coming up with ways to FEEL sexy again – thus generating good vibes around sex and, well, having lots of it. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
    wearing my sexiest undies for no good reason (everyday!)
    getting a bikini wax
    using duoballs or smartballs (sorry if this is to X rated!)
    dancing – shaking the booty!
    walking with sass
    I figure all of these are do-able very easily and have instant results.
    any other ideas?

  • Nathaniel says:

    I like your ideas for feeling sexier. I have another idea though.
    There was a time in my life when I really wanted to have sex. I was a virgin until I was 24. And I asked girls out all the time for years. I just wasn’t aligned with having sex with any of them. When I finally did have sex, I was very involved with other passions like theatre. I was in the Vortex, in the zone, in my element, and a girl asked me out. She came to me. The uinverse hadn’t forgot about my desire. I allowed it when I was in the Vortex. That is the secret–to get happily busy- so you don’t have time to focus on sex anymore–you are too busy being excited about your life.
    Remember it is already done. You are having sex with someone in your vibrational escrow right now. Its’ done.

  • Kelly says:

    Wow. Nathaniel. I vote yours “best comment”. At least for me it was the most useful. I’ve copied and pasted into my LOA files for future reference. Very well put! Hope you are blogging somewhere…

  • lisa says:

    Danae love it! Silk stockings and garter belts always work for me 😉
    Delicious high heeled shoes or boots. Bubble baths! Rose petals, sweet perfume oh my 🙂
    Good Manifesting to you!

  • lisa says:

    Ginny and Kelly, there may be a medical/hormonal imbalance causing your hubands issues.
    I’m not a Dr. But I read that just as womens age, lifestyle and menopause affect their hormone levels men too have the same kinds of problem.
    Reduced energy levels, sex drive etc. You may benefit by encouraging your husbands to get their hormone levels checked out.
    They don’t need to know its tied to the sex drive issue let the Dr. handle that.
    I’m sure you both want your men to feel better and better about themselves then thr great sex will flow naturally!
    Just as lyabo said approach it with Love, as with all things. Love has the power to transform and create miracles 🙂
    I read a book by Suzzane Sommers can’t recall the title but was about beauty and aging gracefully.
    The title grabbed me I found it at my local library. She’s a big advocate if bio-available hormones made from natural sources as opposed to synthetic (man made) hormones.
    It requires more testing and working closely with your Dr. But if it is an issue it seemed the bemefits outweighed any inconveniences.
    I just thought I’d throw the medical angle out there for consideration as your stories reminded me of hers.
    In that the initial reaction was oh its normal age related just deal with it stuff.
    Her book was very informative she had her Dr. Write the technical stuff but she was frank and honest about their problems and apparently happy with the solution
    At any rate I wish you both much luck and send you much Love!
    May this year be the happiest, most satisfying , most wonderful and by far the Sexiest ever for us all!!!

  • danae says:

    Nathaniel – I love what you wrote… I bet when you were in your element, doing work you love, you were very attractive and feeling/vibing as about as masculine as you could :). There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who is doing what he loves and is fully present to it.
    I love the idea that in my vibrational escrow I’m happily having a great sex life, with my wonderful sexy partner!
    and I am still working on feeling sexy, and getting my vibe aligned with what I want… amazingly it has spilled over into other areas of my life and I feel more energetic all around.
    Lisa – silk stockings – yum! bubble baths are wonderful – I’m reminded of when I was newly divorced and every friday night (a night when I felt the whole world was out celebrating the end of a work week and I was at home with my children) I took a long fragrant bath, sipped on wine and told my self I was beautiful and loveable – invoking the Goddess in myself. It worked wonders for my flailing self image.
    I love this blog! x

  • Emma says:

    Great post and great timing just as I ‘asked’ for it:)
    The problem is with ME! I have had an ongoing bladder problem for near 2 years and after that long of sex being painful and then causing cystitis afterwards my brain has become wired into the negative thinking and therefore I keep attracting the same.
    Had anyone got a few tips on how to break this cycle I have so I can not only have my sex life back but also be free of pain.
    I KNOW I can do it I just can’t see the woods for the trees at the moment so any advice would be deeply appreciated 🙂
    Thank you so much for this wonderful blog!

  • danae says:

    Hi Emma,
    I had a similar problem and needed to get to the root of it before any improvement happened (also a bladder problem). Luckily I’m learning the skills to help myself (the doc just wanted to medicate me). I used a psychotherapy technique called ‘focusing’ to start a dialogue with my body, and specifically my bladder. Asking it what it had to say to me (it was ‘pissed off’!) and what it wanted (for me to give up sugar entirely) gave me instant results.
    As for the brain rewiring – it only takes 30 days to make a new neural pathway. I believe you can do this by gently persisting with pleasure (however this happens for you) on a daily basis.
    I hope this helps, and that someone else has some good advice for you also 🙂

  • Emma says:

    Hi Danea,
    Thank you so much for your post, it has helped a LOT! It has given me more hope to hear that you had the same and have come out the other side.
    I have been looking into focusing just now. I hadn’t heard of it before. Are there any books you recommend? I would love to be able to read my body and dialogue with it.
    Were there any affirmations you used in particular?
    Thank you again 🙂
    Emma x

  • danae says:

    Hi Emma,
    I don’t know of any books on focusing, but there are plenty on ‘active imagination’ and ‘process meditation’… there is a website here which explains the technique quite well.
    glad to have been some help 🙂

  • Elizabeth says:

    Wow! I’m so inspired by the lovely people posting here. Hello to all you lovely Americans & Canadians. Hello & love from Australia. I’ve just had the most peaceful day as a result of remembering the truth of what you are all sharing! We are meant to enjoy our sexuality & share pleasure…sometimes I forget that is ok to be me – very sexual, sensual and loving.
    I’ve made the mistake in the past of thinking that it isn’t possible to be a gorgeous, passionate woman & on a spirurial path at the same time. I love the open honest posts here. So healing. My attitude has been washed with positive energy from reading your posts. Thank you. Happy manifesting all the beautiful hot lovers we all deserve…x

  • Jeannette says:

    Elizabeth, we’re clearly doing something right with this conversation if we attracted the likes of you here! What a lovely energy you share – thanks for dropping in to join us on this one!

  • Max says:

    Most likely there is no one on here over 50 (ha) but some might benefit from this. Over 85% of women and some men have a decency of the natural magnesium level we are born with. The body does not make this so as we become older we loose it. Most Dr’s don’t even know about this as they are not taught about it.
    Only one type of magnesium will work (magnesium glycinate). You can get it at some health food stores but do not let them tell you theit product has it in it. It will say magnesium glycinate in big letters on the bottle. It gives women a lot more energy and also helps for a healthy way of living. There is no known side effects other than that bloated feeling until the body gets used to it. Taken at bedtime is best and it can be increased to two tabs. later if you choose. Check it out on the web and be informed.
    It’s always your choice. Hope it makes everyone even more sexual!

  • Teen Kasia says:

    Loving the layout, how did you get you blog to look like this. and its very well written. THANKS

  • Ann says:

    I’m absolutely in pain over this same topic, so much so that it’s hard for me to muster the strength to post here. I’m a strong believer in manifestation, visualizations, etc, but am in a situation where I deeply love my boyfriend (and he loves me), but he’s not interested in having sex with me as much as I’d like to.
    I feel almost as though I may not be able to win this battle, no matter how much I visualize, pray and act “as if”. I do the acting “as if” thing, only to then feel the pain of wanting to be intimate with him and not be able to fulfill my desire. It hurts deep in my core, and when it hurts, it’s hard to act as if my desire is getting fulfilled.
    It’s sapping my enthusiasm for other things, and it’s got me questioning whether it’s even worthwhile having faith for other aspects of my life. When I’m not questioning like that, I sometimes end up thinking: “why has visualizations, etc, worked for other areas in my life, but not for this one”?
    I’m extremely frustrated. I’ve never had a long-term deeply fulfilling sex life that other women my age have or have had (you know, the do-it-anywhere, grab-me-and-let’s-go-for-it type).
    Somebody please help me. This is depressing me to the point where sometimes I feel like I’m better off just giving up on life if this is not to be.

  • Ann, help is on the way. Check your in-box. 🙂

  • Readers of this post may be interested in a free call series coming up at Good Vibe U. It’s on the topic of sex and will address the most typical questions associated with that topic, including how to get more of it and how to do deal with different libido levels between partners, etc.
    It starts on June 28th, and continues on July 13th and 18th with more to follow after that. Here’s the link to get the call details off the GVU calendar:
    If you read this after those dates, you can join GVU on the $1 trial to download the calls and then suspend your membership before the $27/month charge hits, if you like.
    Just wanted you all to be aware of this upcoming resource. 🙂

  • Ann says:

    Hello Jeannette,
    I got your email, thank you so!!! It means a lot to receive this support here and I’ll look forward to the information during the call.
    “Different libido levels between partners”… yep, that’s part of it!
    What also stings is that it seems like he’s more interested in looking at soft porn than “getting it on” with me. Even if he says that he’s very attracted to me, it’s a hard pill to swallow!
    Thinking about this positively, it’ll be great to manifest a great sex life with him and come back here to report how I got there.
    You rock!

  • Sensuality Coach Lisa says:

    Hi Ann,
    I can feel how frustrated you are with this situation and I understand. I can also tell you I’ve been there and I encourage you not to give up!
    There are many questions I might ask if we were in a private coaching session – for instance, How long have you been together? Has this always been a problem, or is this something new? Do you try to initiate sex and he refuses, or is it that he doesn’t initiate it when you hope that he will? And, regarding his viewing of “soft porn”…when does he watch it? Do you ever watch with him? Does it arouse him? Have you tried initiating sex at that time?
    When you do have sex, is it satisfying for both of you? Is he a “giver” – by that I mean, does he have a strong desire to satisfy you? Is he a caring, considerate lover?
    Differences in libido can be frustrating to be sure! Many things in both the physiological and emotional realm can affect a person’s level of desire – even simple day-to-day stresses can have a BIG impact.
    In my Deliberate Sensuality practice, I assist individuals in Releasing (worries, to-do’s, expectations), Rediscovering (true self, sensual pleasure), Reconnecting (to their sensuality & sexuality – and in doing so, reconnecting with their partner) and Reigniting (their libido, their passion, their desire).
    I find that this approach works well at both ends of the spectrum – to balance desire and bring more pleasure, intimacy, and sensuality to the relationship and to the individuals.
    Self love plays a huge role in all of this. Redirect your focus to YOU, fully appreciate your sensual side, seek and enjoy the pleasure you find in everything, soak it up! You deserve it! Find ways to remind yourself of your own desirability, your attractiveness. Harmless flirting can be a huge boost to your self-confidence (and a whole lot of fun)!
    There are many delicious ways to satisfy your sensual side – both sexual and non-sexual. The more you focus on your pleasure (rather than his lack of interest), the better I suspect you will feel (and that’s the whole idea, right?)…and the side benefit is that he will probably notice and may very well want in on the action ;). There’s nothing like a satisfied, confident woman to draw a man’s attention!
    My call in the LOA Between the Sheets Series is July 13 at 2pm EDT. I hope you can make it and I hope some of my suggestions will be helpful to you. Meanwhile, you can find me at
    All my best!

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