How to Release Attachment | Good Vibe Blog

How to Release Attachment

how to release attachmentAs many a conscious creator has experienced, the feelings of need and attachment can kink a lot of manifesting parties.

The more we want something, and the more our happiness depends on getting it, the more we push it away.

Seems like a rather cruel system when you think about it. The stronger the desire, the longer it takes to get here? How rude.

But that’s only when we’re attached to the results. That is, when we need this outcome in order to feel happy or satisfied.

It is possible, believe it or not, to have a strong desire for something without needing it.

And when we hit that energetic combination, that’s the manifesting sweet spot.

It’s one reason why we’re so good at manifesting the “little” stuff we don’t care too much about, and why the “big” things are so long in coming.

Because we’re fine either way with the “little” things, right? It’s no big deal if it happens or not. The things we really really really want, though – that can be a different story.

When our entire happiness is dependent on whether this desire comes to fruition or not – that is not vibrational alignment. That’s like vibrational limbo. It’ll slow your manifesting to a crawl! In fact, you may as well rely on action to make it happen when you’re flowing that kind of energy.

So, strong desire can be a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with really really wanting something.

Remember that strong desire and strong belief are the two keys to successful manifesting.

But don’t let that desire squash your good vibes now.

When you can really really want something, and

  • still know that you’re okay whether it happens or not, and
  • enjoy life now in lots of other ways, and
  • trust that if this good thing doesn’t happen something else fabulous will …

… that’s when you’ll see success.

The remedy is to be able to let go of attachment to results, to release need for this particular outcome, while still flowing a healthy desire.

Abraham has described this as a “loving what’s here and looking forward to what’s next” kind of perspective. That vibrational stance allows you to benefit from strong desire without kinking the manifesting party.

Here’s a compilation of  articles on the subject, designed to support your alignment by releasing attachment:

The Antidote To Attachment (sure fire way to release it)
How to Let Go (the good vibe community weighs in)
Want it Good or Want it Bad? (clean desire vs. dirty desire)
Letting Go of Attachment (from Zen Habits, read P through T)
How to Allow It without Giving Up (more wisdom from you guys)
LOA Success Secret #4 (don’t make it important)
How to Allow when the Pressure’s On (my “fine either way” story with a sick kitty)
How to Drop Need (four tips to release need)

My quick take on how to resolve this vibe-kinker:

  1. appreciate lots of other things in life
  2. enjoy whatever I can here now
  3. trust that Universe knows how to delight me in a wide variety of ways, so I can loosen up about how that happens
  4. I sing Bobby Pinson’s “fine either way” chorus to myself, to remember that no matter what happens, it’s all good. I’m just fine no matter what.

This is a concept worth mastering as a conscious creator, since it makes a big difference in our alignment.

If you’ve got tips to share, please do, since this is a subject that many a creator grapples with. Thanks in advance!

  • November 30, 2013
  • Mandy says:

    ‘trust that if this good thing doesn’t happen something else fabulous will …’
    That phrase makes me feel totally powerless. I mean, if I want a relationship, for instance, I’ll feel really crappy if the universe doesn’t want to let me have it and give me something else instead, like a friend or a dog or something. Doesn’t wanting something and getting another mean you can’t really get what you want?
    Also in my humble opinion I think the outflow of energy you give to what you want is more important then 100% detachment. I was able to attract something big I wanted twice by flowing out strong feelings of “I-want-it-now-and-you’re-not-gonna-deny-me-this-anymore-universe!” I didn’t exactly detach from it, I just decided I deserved to want it and the “why I can’t have it”s didn’t matter anymore and it didn’t take that long to arrive. I wish I could replicate that but I don’t know if I am still able to conjure such strongs feelings at will.
    I confess detatchment scares me, it feels like giving up on what I want.

  • Stacey says:

    Awesome post. Thanks, Jeannette!
    Release attachment by:
    1. Knowing that you’re going to be OK if you get it or not
    2. Enjoying life in the mean time
    3. Realizing that if you don’t get it, something better will (which is why Shakti Gawain always says to end your intention with “…this or something better is now manifesting”)
    Will be listening to your Slacker Manifesting call tonight as part of the Your Life Without Limits event!
    Great reminder!

  • Hi Jeannette, I love the wouldn’t it be nice process because of this. I call it holding it loosely. Wouldn’t it be nice? I sing it all the time. It allows me to desire something without placing a stranglehold on it.

  • Bernadette says:

    I sometimes get caught on this, it was what held so much back from coming, it wasn’t
    ‘Until I read slacker manifesting did I cotton onto why things were not working smoothly…I have also been a bit of a worrier which doesn’t help…I think we get trained from such an early age that struggle and hard work are how we get what we want that it becomes ingrained…Mara I love your plan b excercise, that is great…I’ve now got myself in this frustrating place of only half manifesting…it starts to come true but then something happens and it gets taken away…or I start to notice it coming then it stops…:/

  • Melody says:

    Another paradoxical way to release attachment is to feel more in control. When I need something to manifest fast, I repeat the words, “There is only one power,” in my mind to really drive it home to myself that I am creating all my reality. This drops me into that state of relaxed focus knowing.
    I think that what a lot of successful people have in common is unswerving faith in their ability to get what they want, whether or not they feel miserable most of the time or espouse the LOA. If you know you are going to win a game, you will win, whether you enjoy playing or not.
    Of course, unpleasant feelings will manifest somewhere, hence why so many successful people also have contentious marriages or drug problems, so its best to be as high vibing as possible.

  • I love this post Jeannette! It’s such a wonderful reminder to let go. My tip for letting go is to dive head first into loving yourself behaviors and actions. It’s a great way to 1.) It reminds the Universe how worthy you are and 2.) When you’re in the space of loving on yourself the need for happiness to depend on anything else disappears. Thanks for sharing the other great articles for guidance on this topic!

  • Thanks for the reminder. This is the thing that makes magic in my life. When I just focus on being happy and being of service to others, I manifest all kinds of crazy cool stuff that I wouldn’t even dream of asking for. When I try to force it and get really hung up on getting what I want things don’t flow nearly as well for me. I’m like Janette and sometimes attachment sneaks up on me. Usually, I figure it out as soon as things start feeling off. 🙂

  • Lizette says:

    Yes! I (try to) do the same as you. Try to enjoy the moment. I do however struggle when the desired outcome is a solution to a problem (stuff I NEEEEED). I have no problem getting stuff to make life more awesome (I WANT, I GET), but it takes a bit more work when I need something to happen to solve a problem or potential problem.
    What I found helpful, and try to remember, is Abraham’s words that has become my mantra: “It’s the next logical thing.” Rhonda Byrne also has another version of it, in that you should use events as a cue. If you want a car and you see that Dark Cherry Red Jeep Grand Cherokee pull up, take that as a cue that Universe is on your request.

  • I hear you on that, Janette. I can be in the routine for a little bit (as in weeks, if not longer) before I realize I’m doing it. So you’re right about celebrating the awareness! Thanks for posting.
    And Mara, I love your strategy! And you’re right, that can be SO effective! Many thanks for popping in with that tip.

  • Mara Enid says:

    Haven’t we all struggled with this one. I create a Plan B. I think up something so fabulous that I will do if the thing I want doesn’t happen and I really lay out all the details in such a way that it’s actually appealing, and I start working toward Plan B. The best example I’ve seen of this working for someone is a couple I know who wanted desperately to get pregnant and it just wasn’t happening. To take the pressure off, they created the Plan B of adopting and actually started going through the adoption process. You can guess what happened. They adopted and also gave birth around the same time. Focusing on Plan B lessened the resistance, which allowed Plan A to manifest (and Plan B too)!

  • Janette says:

    Mmmmm…. delicious reminder!
    My go-to songs for helping prevent (or cure) attachment are Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and – of course – “Hakuna Matata” from the Lion King.
    For me the tricky part is noticing I’ve got attached. Thankfully, any time I feel stress or anxiety I now know that’s my clue. Worrying about an outcome? Rut roh, that means I’m attached…
    …. which is a GOOD thing to know, since once I’m aware I can shift it.
    Doo doo, duh doo doo, duh doo doo, duh doo doo…. woooooo woo woo woowooowooo….

  • Well, Pam, I was going to say it makes the work that much harder when we’re the only ones doing it! (And don’t have any cooperation from significant others.) But then I decided you’re not alone, because I can join you in your visioning. So know that you’re not the only one creating your fabulous future.

  • Pam says:

    This is what I struggle with. Trying to stay detached from the outcome. I focus daily on what makes me happy…my son…walking my dog. I listen to Abraham all the time or read their books. My biggest barrier and test is my negative husband who won’t have any of this! He has started his own business and so far it’s so slow in coming. We are really struggling financially and he constantly likes to tell me this. I give thanks in advance daily for the financial abundance that is on it’s way and repeat in mind “cancel cancel” every time he speaks doom and gloom! This is the biggest contrast yet!
    I am happy to have found your blog. It gives me hope.

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