Let Them Have Their Miracle | Good Vibe Blog

Let Them Have Their Miracle

What would you do if someone felt compelled to ruin your good time?

If you were smiling and laughing, maybe enjoying and appreciating, and someone jumped in to say, “Hey, you’ve got it all wrong. You should not be happy right now. You should not be enjoying that.”  

how would you respond?

Would you think they were wrong? Would you ignore them or tell them to mind their own business? Would their opinion spoil your happy experience? Would you let them change your beliefs about what was good and what wasn’t?

It’s probably happened to all of us at some point.

(Because spoiler alert: we weren’t all meant to agree about what a good time is!)

Here’s my next question, though: what if you were that person popping in feeling compelled to ruin someone else’s good time?

Haven’t we all done that at some point, too?

Lord knows I have. Despite the fact that I think I know better than to know what’s better for someone else …

Like when my dear friend was raving about yet another wonderful girl he’d met on the internet, who was just down on her luck temporarily and needed some extra cash to pay her rent or get her dog to the vet. And I may have shouted at him to “Stop sending money to strangers! That’s not even a girl you’re talking to!”

Or when a friend’s son was excited to learn there were sharks in my local reservoir that had been illegally planted, I googled proof of the hoax and lectured that they needed more discernment about what they believed online.

(I feel like such a killjoy right now.)

Why would we do that? Why would we throw cold water on someone else’s good time?

Well, I know the answer …

Because I didn’t believe my friend was headed for a good time. I didn’t want him to be taken advantage of (again). And I don’t want to swim in a lake with sharks in it. Or to see naive people manipulated by others. I thought I was protecting them from harm.

When my brother felt compelled to tell me how many calories were in the chocolate cake I was eating, maybe he truly feared for my health. Or when the animal rescue colleague turned the spotlight back on the ones who didn’t make it when I was celebrating the ones who did, maybe she really just wants to make sure we don’t stop working.

We are likely well-intentioned even when we’re putting the focus on things that don’t feel good, but that’s not an LOA-savvy move. (Unless we’re purposely looking for more contrast.)

Sometimes I get this routine right …

There have been times when loved ones were having a fabulous time with something I didn’t think was fabulous, when I didn’t feel compelled to throw cold water on their party.

Like when a girlfriend raved about an “amazing investment opportunity” that everyone should definitely get in on, and it felt sketchy to me – I didn’t try talking anyone out of it. Who was I to say it wouldn’t end up being a good thing for them, especially if they’re flowing positive expectation?

Or when my loved ones discovered the joys of ayahuasca which has never appealed to me, I didn’t feel compelled to share my opinion with them. I just politely declined their invitation. That’s fine for them to follow their excitement – more power to them! It’s not for me, though.

Just because it’s not for me doesn’t mean I have to talk them out of it. We’re not supposed to come to a consensus.

We each have different desires, beliefs, and experiences. We each have different rendezvous with contrast designed to amplify our individual games even more. And we’re each creating our own reality.

(Maybe his lake has sharks in it and mine doesn’t! Maybe chocolate cake is bad for him and good for me!)

Here’s the thing … it’s easy to let others have their way when we’re talking about preferring cats over dogs, or Beyonce over Beethoven, right? “Everyone gets to want what they want” – sure, no problem! Live and let live, sister! Easy peasy.

But now say Q-Anon or AOC, Proud Boys or BLM, Parler or stem cells or abortion rights or climate change or nuclear capabilities or whatever else might feel like it’s not just a personal preference any more, but a danger/improvement to the world. Then it gets a little more challenging to live and let live, doesn’t it?

And I did have to type it that way: “danger/improvement.” Because it isn’t just one or the other. One person’s danger is someone else’s hope. One person’s miracle is another’s injustice.

I mean, U.S. soldiers are one country’s heroes and another country’s terrorists. Police officers are a godsend to some and a threat to others. Vaccines protect some while injuring another.

Can you see how we don’t all agree about what’s best? And that we aren’t even supposed to?

Yes, I have strong opinions about what’s best, but that’s all they are – my opinions. My preferences. Someone else who wants/believes it different gets to have it their way. They have it their way, I have it mine, and I know where my attention is best placed. (Hint: not on theirs!)

So why do we get tangled up in someone else’s experience when it isn’t what we prefer? Why do perfectly good friends occasionally throw cold water on my party? And why have I done it to them?

Sometimes the reason we feel compelled to spoil someone else’s good time is because we’re just in a rotten mood ourselves and misery loves company. But more often it’s because we think they’re going to ruin it for themselves or for the rest of us.

Conscious creators know it doesn’t work that way. 

We don’t have to convince everyone to agree with us in order to have what we prefer. And we are not in charge of what others create for themselves.

They can have theirs; and you can have yours. Even when what we’re having is very different.

I’m going to say that again: Even when what we’re having is very different. Yes, even then.

They key is not letting someone else’s creation become yours if you don’t want it. Stay focused on your own ideas of your good time.

Bashar said it well: “If you understand that the different perspectives are true in their own realities then all you need to do is pick the ones that are true for you in yours.”

It’s that simple!

Here’s one way I practice it almost every day:

When I’m scrolling social media and I see someone delighted with something that doesn’t delight me, I keep scrolling.

Maybe I’ll subtly unfollow or unfriend if it’s highly offensive, but I’m not going to ruin their party. If they’re having fun with it, more power to them. If they’re stoking up contrast for themselves, that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. We all need a little fuel for our expansion!

Occasionally if they’re suffering over something I think I can help clear up, and I’m feeling the inspiration for it, I might post a link to a snopes article or point out that they’re arguing with a bot not a person.

But mostly, I’m getting pretty good at letting everyone do their own thing.

When someone starts a line of conversation (aka version of reality) I don’t want to help fuel, I excuse myself or change the subject or “la la la” through it in my head if I have to. There are very few people I’m not willing to walk away from these days. I haven’t had to “la la la” in a very long time.

And when someone tries to intervene in my good time, I do my best to practice the same thing. They can have it their way, I can have it mine. I don’t need to talk them out of it or get them to agree with me. And I’m certainly not going to let them spoil my enjoyment.

Sometimes they even have a good point, and I hope I’m open enough to consider a new perspective. Maybe I’ll learn something! Maybe my consciousness will expand!

But if it isn’t improving my world view or lifting my vibration, I just ignore or delete. No drama needed. No resistance required. A simple “gotta go,” a station change, an unfollow or unfriend, a focusing shift – that’s all it takes to live and let live.

I just get back to enjoying and appreciating as I can. Wherever that might be happening.

And sometimes what’s most enjoyable or what’s easiest to appreciate is to jump in and take a stand; to offer a different perspective, or suggest a new way, to make a call to arms – or call the authorities.

I’m not going to talk you out of that, either, because I know how sometimes that’s the feel better option. (Been there, done that! Will definitely do it again when it feels good!)

Just remember the conscious creator way: we put our focus on what we prefer and do what feels best.

We’re getting better at it every day, right?

  • January 10, 2021
  • Zoe says:

    I love this article! Thank you!

  • Kate says:

    Wonderful. Just what I needed.

  • Namaste says:

    Jeannette,

    Love this post! And reading this now is a perfect reminder of this lesson at the perfect time. We really don’t know what’s important for another person’s life. What for us looks like a disaster-in-the-making could be the very contrast they came here to mine and make their life story out of.

    Also, thanks for the reminder about the delete button. I prefer to move past stuff without engaging with it. Sometimes though an unfriend, or a delete feels the best, and I’m giving myself permission to go with it =)

  • Anita says:

    Constructive advice; my brain, oh my brain! Spending way too much time flipping out on twitter. Not quite as simple to not be affected vibrationally when residing with someone who has a penchant for yelling and hollering about the situation out there, though.
    Oh my nerves.
    But yeah, unfollowed a lot online. It’s just too addictive.

  • Helen says:

    Jeanette, I especially appreciate

    “It’s that simple!

    Here’s one way I practice it almost every day:

    When I’m scrolling social media and I see someone delighted with something that doesn’t delight me, I keep scrolling.”

    Yep…or I unfollow that one particular thread, especially if I like/value/appreciate the person but NOT the discussion. Easy peasy. Lol

  • Timeline Traveller says:

    Thanks for the reminder about focus 🙂 I have to admit that I made the mistake of focusing on what I disliked/disagreed with over the past few days, and my mood definitely dipped a bit during this time.

    And, yes, variety is the spice of life. I mean, there’s a good reason why – for example – genetic variety/variation is vital for humanity’s survival, why democracies always last for much longer than dictatorships do, why a varied diet is supposed to be good for you etc… Variety is an important part of pretty much everything.

    I guess this is probably also why I take a very literal interpretation of the whole “everyone has their own reality” thing.

    The best metaphor I can think of to sum up my chosen interpretation of reality is probably one of those old “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. Different readers can choose different paths through the book, one reader’s path doesn’t affect the path of another reader etc…

    This way, everyone gets to have – if they choose it – their definition of a “good” or “better” reality, without impinging on the choices of other consciousnesses.

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